Naff names by Katherine Crouch

July 3, 2014

in Articles, General Interest

There may be slightly less posting here over the next four months, as I have just signed a contract to write a book. Forty thousand words before Christmas and we’ve still got coach parties and Sunday openings at the Veddw. Couldn’t resist the flattery of being asked, before you ask.

But please don’t stop offering your excellent material: if it’s good, it will be here one day, I promise.

I am expecting a review of the Wisley debate ‘Are Gardens Art?’ very soon. Meanwhile, we are maintaining the amazing intellectual standard here  by considering the naming of plants. And, no, this is not another ‘Why do we use Latin names?’ piece, nor ‘Why do we keep changing plant names?‘ piece. More a – ‘Please can we change the plant names?’ piece…

Anne Wareham, editor

Boy o Boy Copyright Katherine Crouch

Boy o Boy..

Katherine Crouch

I had a lovely day at Kingsdon Nursery recently, buying plants I really didn’t need, and coming away with extra primroses and every colour of sweet violet, thanks to Mrs Marrow’s generosity. Did you know that dusky Papaver orientale ‘Patty’s Plum’ originated on Mrs Patricia Marrow’s compost heap in Kingsdon, near Somerton? Thanks Mrs M., and happy birthday: 90 last week and still gardening.

A new variety of plant needs a catchy name to help boost sales. When it comes to naming new plants, I can’t help thinking this job sometimes gets left to the last minute and is only remembered down the pub on a Friday night after many beers.

Could you really call a meeting to order and have a serious discussion while sober, about the merits of a scented multi-flowered daffodil with white petals and a short orange trumpet and conclude that the best name for it would be ‘Geranium’? A five-pint moment for sure.

Double Click Copyright Katherine Crouch

And some of us thought the double click was obsolete..

What addled brains ran out of superlatives and thought up Marigold ‘Boy O Boy Mixed’ and Nasturtium ‘Just Peachy’? How the company must have tittered when a new pastel mix of Phlox drummondii was christened ‘Phlox of Sheep’! Some seed catalogue punnery is truly toe curling.

Still, the seed company Friday night down the pub is a sedate tea party in comparison to the drunken orgy that must take place at the American Hemerocallis Society annual bash.

Click on Daylily Database and marvel at the list of 77,080 hemerocallis varieties and on the very first page, contemplate the state of the minds that thought up ’11 o’clock Toast to Jack Sheehan’, ‘A Babbling Baboon’s Bouncing Babies’ for day lily names.

AHS Registration Rules  is a 9 page document defining what you may and may not call a new daylily. There must be a maximum of 30 letters, no names of royalty, no Latin names unless as part of an English phrase in common use, no names similar to those already registered and – many many more rules. I think the breeders must take great delight in thinking up the most ridiculous names still within these parameters.

Campanula Blue Bloomers Veddw copyright Anne Wareham

Another of those falling off their chairs laughing moments?

Honouring this spirit, I am tempted to plant a day lily border of ‘Little Bugger’, ‘Abby Dabby Doo’, ‘Big Bodacious Blonde’, ‘Honey I Shrunk the Cat’, ‘Honky Tonk Badonkadonk’, ‘Inky Dinky Doo’, ‘The Moose Camped in a Tent Tuesday’, ‘Kissed Off’ and ‘Zzzz a Zinging Giant’.

I don’t care what they look like, but the ‘Garden Talk’ around the ‘Campfire Glow’ this summer is going to be ‘Plum Bizarre’.

Katherine Crouch website

Katherine Crouch portrait

 

 

 

 

 

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